Still awake. Had to cut out early, after lunch, at work, because my stomach hadn’t been feeling well all day and was slightly queasy and really bloated feeling. After I ate, I thought the queasy part may have been just that I NEEDED to eat something, which I DID need to. But, I felt worse. Plus, just with all the 1.5-week of training all day, everyday, and SOOOOO much to learn, remember, and try to wrap my mind around… Then going straight in to “Grad Bay” this week and doing nothing but taking live calls based on what we learned, I am just physically and mentally, exhausted and stressed. So I needed to do what was/is best for me and take a little “rest time off.” I’m so fortunate to work for such a wonderful company that accommodates my medical needs, and have always had understanding managers (I’ve had 3 different managers now.) So as soon as I got off work around 7pm, I laid down and took a 2-hour nap. I slept so hard and it felt great. I woke up STILL not feeling the best in my tummy, but I took a Zofran (nausea medicine) and STILL felt super bloated but the nausea was some better. Then, a bit later, took some Gas-X and after THAT I FINALLY felt much better.
Tomorrow I go see the podiatrist and I looked her up and she has really good reviews. She also specializes in foot/ankle surgery. So that is good, because I am pretty confident that these spasms are not treatable by any kind of medication and I don’t want to go through a surgery and know it’s going to be a big mess if it would (likely) require general anesthesia, but I’m so desperate to fix this that I am willing to do ANYTHING. As long as it is a FOR SURE solution. I am not doing a surgery if it is just an “ohhhhhh this may or may not work,” or has a 50% success rate or something. That’s just rolling the dice, and I’m not going through all the pain during/after surgery, babying my fresh surgery foot for who knows how long, or risking my life to be put under anesthesia unless I am given a pretty firm high expectation for success. But the pain from this when it happens is SO BAD that even if it just happened once a month, that is too much to live with! THATS how painful and bad these “spasms” are. Which are likely not spasms at all, because spasms are muscle related. This is for sure nerve pain. It shoots, it pulses, it feels like my foot is attached to a truck battery and it’s being electrocuted over and over again, closer together until they are back to back, and higher voltage with each shock. They are so bad I begin vomiting and shitting on myself all at the same time! I have to basically be knocked out to even get through them. Normally TWO phenergan suppositories (this is all IF I can keep them in my rectum, or if my rectum isn’t packed full of shit. Because I’m always constipated, and then when this happens it all begins to come out. So sometimes my mom has to help me get my rectum clean just so she can attempt to put one in. Or if she’s even able to get one in, if I can keep it in, due to the uncontrollable shitting.) the phenergan acts as a sedative/sleeping agent, as well as helps with the nausea. Phenergan is STRONG. I’ve had it on/off my whole life, and normally just one 12mg dose knocks me out for HOURS, and I have the tolerance for high doses of pain meds, enough to sedate an elephant! So if we can make it happen it normally takes TWO 12mg phenergan and TWO 10/325mg Percocet! Can’t take the Percocet until I am not nauseated though! Keep in mind, all this is happening simultaneously! My poor mom sometimes just begins bawling, especially as it normally happens while she’s home alone and dad isn’t here to help her! She’s trying to get the suppositories in me while trying to get control of my shitting, and also keep my linens clean and me, and while I am shitting actively she can’t begin to try to use one. Yet I’m screaming and crying in pain. She then at the same time had to try to get my rectum clear so she can use one.
These “spasms” happen for HOURS ON END. I’m talking like 12hrs+ !!
With all that medicine pumped in to me, it may just allow me to doze off to sleep for MAYBE an hour or two, and I normally wake with them still there.
When in the hospital I had them and the only medicine that ACTUALLY worked and kept them totally away, was a Fentanyl drip that I could administer more every 10mins.
Obviously you can’t do that high of a level of pain meds, especially IV, at home. So I have to just sweat them out, because I can’t go to the ER every time I have them! This last time was so bad I almost did go through!
So a nightmare is an understatement!
This is why this “Tarsal Tunnel” or whatever it is, HAS to stop. Sorry to get so graphic, but just speaking the truth. To try and paint the picture of how severe these are. And even so, my description isn’t even near to the severity of when they occur.
So I pray this doctor gives me some hope tomorrow. The only thing I really don’t like is that this podiatrist is out of Scott & White hospital. I HATE S&W! My primary doc happens to work for them so he was the one that referred me. So that’s how I ended up there. If I didn’t love my doc so much, I’d have told him he could kiss my ass and see you later LONG AGO, all because S&W is SO BAD to work with. We’ll see how this goes.